Mary Rafferty

Does Your Team Have Meetings After (or Before!) the Meeting?

Listening to a podcast recently, I was struck by social scientist Brene Brown’s response when asked about the culture of her organisation: “The culture of our organization is, there’s no meeting after the meeting” To what extent could you say that in the case of the team you lead there are no meetings after (or …

Does Your Team Have Meetings After (or Before!) the Meeting? Read More »

Problem solving in Conversations Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Problem-Solving Conversations – Drop the Advice and Help People Think for Themselves

Facilitating people to come up with their own solutions rather than telling them what to do is probably the number one challenge most participants in Mediation training courses identify. The skill or rather combination of micro-skills encompassed in an ‘Ask and Listen’ rather than ‘Tell and Sell’ approach to problem-solving are also essential competencies in …

Problem-Solving Conversations – Drop the Advice and Help People Think for Themselves Read More »

Managing a Crisis-Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Managing a Crisis? 3 First Aid Tips for ‘Difficult Conversations’

Even when your organisation is in crisis mode you still need to hold people accountable. Yet raising ‘difficult’ issues -performance, behaviour, or any unmet expectations – is hard to do properly when the stakes are high and everyone is running on adrenalin. So how can you manage those ‘difficult conversations’ in a time-strapped, pressure cooker …

Managing a Crisis? 3 First Aid Tips for ‘Difficult Conversations’ Read More »

Framing What You Need To Say In A Difficult Conversation Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Framing What You Need To Say In A ‘Difficult Conversation’ – Free Template

Download Word Doc version of ‘Framing Your Key Messages‘ Download a completed template ‘Framing Your Key Messages in Addressing an Issue‘  in relation to addressing lateness. (This is an example of how you might use the template , it is not a prescription or recommendation. Your context, situation and way of expressing yourself might be completely different.) …

Framing What You Need To Say In A ‘Difficult Conversation’ – Free Template Read More »

Difficulties in Working relationships Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Difficulties In Working Relationships: Understand And Reverse The Negative Cycle

When we find ourselves becoming increasingly annoyed, upset or fearful around someone’s behaviour and attitude over an extended period of time, here’s what tends to happen for many people: We start to have increasingly negative thoughts about that person/persons which in turn causes us to experience a greater level of unpleasant emotions such as anger, …

Difficulties In Working Relationships: Understand And Reverse The Negative Cycle Read More »

Persisting Behaviour despite Feedback Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

What If Someone Persists In A Behaviour Despite Your Feedback?

You’ve asked them once, you’ve asked them a second time and yet the behaviour still keeps happening. How to address behaviour that persists despite your feedback about it… Transcript Hi Mary Rafferty here Today I want to talk to you about a question that came up yesterday in a seminar I was delivering to a …

What If Someone Persists In A Behaviour Despite Your Feedback? Read More »

Chinese Whispers in Difficult Conversations Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Don’t Play Chinese Whispers In Difficult Conversations!

“I know you think you understand what you thought I said but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant” (Alan Greenspan, American Economist)  It’s so easy to mishear and misunderstand what others are saying to us and vice verse, particularly when tensions are starting to rise. Here’s a simple …

Don’t Play Chinese Whispers In Difficult Conversations! Read More »

Trying to get your point across but they wont listen Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Trying To Get Your Point Across But They Won’t Listen?

Ever feel you’ve hit a brick wall (or an iceberg!) when trying to get your point across to someone? No matter what you say they just won’t listen. Here’s another way to think about how to handle this situation… Video Transcript Mary Rafferty here, in today’s video I want to share an analogy that can …

Trying To Get Your Point Across But They Won’t Listen? Read More »

How to Listen when someone is Offloading on you Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

How Do You Listen If Someone Is Upset, Annoyed And Off-Loading On You?

Listening is a much-lauded but greatly under-used skill – and not because we don’t know how to listen well.  Instead, it’s that so easily fall into the trap of trying to ‘fix’ the situation rather than taking the time to let a person talk (and think it) through and in doing that, find their own way …

How Do You Listen If Someone Is Upset, Annoyed And Off-Loading On You? Read More »