Communication Skills

Frustrated trying to Deal with Difficult Conversations Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Frustrated Trying To Deal With Difficult Behaviour? Try These 3 Simple Shifts

Frustrated trying to deal with difficult behaviour? Imagine you had a magic weather wand. A simple wave and you would have glorious sunshine, a gentle breeze with a cloudless blue sky above. With your magic wand you would lighten people’s moods, you’d lift people’s energy and motivation. In one swoosh, you could banish the grey …

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The Secret Ingredient in Difficult Conversations Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

The Secret Ingredient For Success In Difficult Conversations

Does the thought of difficult conversations make your stomach churn? Here’s the most important ingredient to make a success. On a recent holiday in Italy I went on a ‘Try a Dive’ lesson. The dive centre was at a sandy beach next to a clear blue lagoon. The water looked so inviting and delicious. But …

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Bring your Oxygen Mask in Difficult Conversations Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Difficult Conversation? Don’t Forget Your Oxygen Mask!

You’re sitting in an aeroplane with your three year old son. Suddenly, the plane starts to jolt and rock. You feel dizzy, it’s hard to breathe. The little boy starts wheezing and crying with pain. You can feel panic rising. From above oxygen masks drop down. Grabbing one you rush to ease the small boy’s …

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Are you in Parent Child or Adult mode in at Work Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Are You In ‘Parent’, ‘Child’ Or ‘Adult’ Mode (Or All 3!) At Work?

“But what if you needed to give her a telling off…” This was the comment of a participant in a recent ‘Difficult Conversations’ training session with a group of managers. The discussion was around the room layout and whether the manager should sit behind a desk or not, when giving negative feedback to an employee. …

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All Conflict Leads Back to Ourselves Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

All Conflict Leads Us Back To Ourselves

Many years ago I worked quite closely with another colleague. Overall, we had a pretty good working relationship, but some disagreements also as to how things should be done and what the best course of action was to take. I remember clearly at times finding those disagreements quite difficult: my colleague didn’t really like to …

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How to say No and minimise conflict Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

How to Say ‘No’ the Right Way

When invited to outline their key challenges in ‘Difficult Conversations’ / ‘Managing Conflict’ courses, being able to say ‘no’ effectively to a request or a demand is high on most participants wish lists. Delving a little deeper, concerns that emerge around turning someone down or setting a boundary on an aspect of their behaviour or …

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Bringing out the best in People Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Bringing Out The Best In People: A Social Cognitive Neuroscience Perspective (Part 1)

In a research experiment in 2001, two groups of people completed a paper maze that featured a mouse in the middle trying to reach a picture on the outside. One group had a picture of cheese on the outside, the other a predator – an owl. After completing the maze both groups were given creativity …

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How High is your EQ Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

How High Is Your Emotional Intelligence (EQ)?

Internationally renowned neuroscientist, Antonio Damasio, tells the story of one patient known as Elliot. He was a successful manager in a large corporation, married with a family. He was diagnosed with a benign brain tumor which was successfully removed with surgery. However, afterwards he was a completely changed man. His ability to make decisions was …

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Jumping to Conclusions- Look before you Leap Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Jumping To Conclusions – Look Before You Leap

Imagine this situation: you are walking down the corridor at work and a colleague is coming the other way. You say ‘hi’ in a bright and friendly tone and this person barely looks at you, has a cross look on their face and hardly greets you. What assumptions would you make about why the person …

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