“I know you think you understand what you thought I said but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant” (Alan Greenspan, American Economist) It’s so easy to mishear and misunderstand what others are saying to us and vice verse, particularly when tensions are starting to rise. Here’s a simple …
Don’t Play Chinese Whispers In Difficult Conversations! Read More »
Listening is a much-lauded but greatly under-used skill – and not because we don’t know how to listen well. Instead, it’s that so easily fall into the trap of trying to ‘fix’ the situation rather than taking the time to let a person talk (and think it) through and in doing that, find their own way …
How Do You Listen If Someone Is Upset, Annoyed And Off-Loading On You? Read More »
The Mediation Act, 2017 was passed in September 2017 and is the culmination of a slow but steady increase in the use of mediation to resolve disputes in a variety of contexts. The workplace and employment arena has also seen a growth in the use of mediation compared to more time-consuming adversarial processes such as …
How To Implement A Mediation Mindset In Your Organisation Read More »
There you are, calm, level headed, objective. You’ve helpfully offered to mediate between two employees who’ve clashed. They are at the initial ‘story telling’ stage and you sit composed, with your impartial and non-judgmental hat on. You are patient, attentive, doing the rapport thing… nodding, kindly eye contact, open body posture and empathic ‘hmms’ at …
The Number One Temptation In The ‘Mediator Role’ And Six Reasons Why Not To Succumb! Read More »
“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” ~ Anaïs Nin The above quote neatly captures the psychological phenomenon, that while there is a factual and concrete reality out there, none of us have a truly objective view. There can be many different perceptions of the same situation. As an …
Relationships That Endlessly Frustrate: Can The Dynamic Be Changed? Read More »
“If I had an hour to solve a problem and my life depended on the solution, I would spend the first 55 minutes determining the proper question to ask, for once I know the proper question, I could solve the problem in less than five minutes.” Einstein The rush to solutions One of the most …
Trying To Resolve Conflict? Are You Asking The Right Question? Read More »
In the late eighties I taught in Germany on a two-year Business English programme. One of the course handbooks focused solely on writing business letters in English. The students were schooled in great detail on the etiquette and nuances of letters and memos in a variety of business contexts. These ranged from sales to commissioning …
Emails…Are You Trigger Happy? Read This Before You Press ‘Send’ Read More »
You’re sitting in an aeroplane with your three year old son. Suddenly, the plane starts to jolt and rock. You feel dizzy, it’s hard to breathe. The little boy starts wheezing and crying with pain. You can feel panic rising. From above oxygen masks drop down. Grabbing one you rush to ease the small boy’s …
Difficult Conversation? Don’t Forget Your Oxygen Mask! Read More »
“But what if you needed to give her a telling off…” This was the comment of a participant in a recent ‘Difficult Conversations’ training session with a group of managers. The discussion was around the room layout and whether the manager should sit behind a desk or not, when giving negative feedback to an employee. …
Are You In ‘Parent’, ‘Child’ Or ‘Adult’ Mode (Or All 3!) At Work? Read More »
Many years ago I worked quite closely with another colleague. Overall, we had a pretty good working relationship, but some disagreements also as to how things should be done and what the best course of action was to take. I remember clearly at times finding those disagreements quite difficult: my colleague didn’t really like to …
