“I know you think you understand what you thought I said but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant” (Alan Greenspan, American Economist) It’s so easy to mishear and misunderstand what others are saying to us and vice verse, particularly when tensions are starting to rise. Here’s a simple …
Don’t Play Chinese Whispers In Difficult Conversations! Read More »
Ever feel you’ve hit a brick wall (or an iceberg!) when trying to get your point across to someone? No matter what you say they just won’t listen. Here’s another way to think about how to handle this situation… Video Transcript Mary Rafferty here, in today’s video I want to share an analogy that can …
Trying To Get Your Point Across But They Won’t Listen? Read More »
Video Transcript Hi, Mary Rafferty here. In this video today I want to talk to you on the topic of dealing with difficult people. This is a very broad subject and there are so many variables that will influence how best to respond or deal with any particular situation where you’re experiencing another person as …
Listening is a much-lauded but greatly under-used skill – and not because we don’t know how to listen well. Instead, it’s that so easily fall into the trap of trying to ‘fix’ the situation rather than taking the time to let a person talk (and think it) through and in doing that, find their own way …
How Do You Listen If Someone Is Upset, Annoyed And Off-Loading On You? Read More »
A common question in ‘Difficult Conversations for Managers’ workshops is what to do when it feels like you are in one of those fruitless dialogues, a circular argument, repeating the same thing without achieving anything.The other person isn’t listening or taking on board what you need them to hear or understand. A recent example was …
Going Around In Circles In A Conversation? Circular Arguing And How To Break That Cycle Read More »
Think about the last ‘difficult’ conversation you had to have with someone. Did you find yourself using some version of the phrase ‘Yes…but…’? You were trying to get your point across but they didn’t seem to be listening. Despite all your attempts to clarify where you were coming from in a reasonable and rational way, …
“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” ~ Anaïs Nin The above quote neatly captures the psychological phenomenon, that while there is a factual and concrete reality out there, none of us have a truly objective view. There can be many different perceptions of the same situation. As an …
Relationships That Endlessly Frustrate: Can The Dynamic Be Changed? Read More »
“If I had an hour to solve a problem and my life depended on the solution, I would spend the first 55 minutes determining the proper question to ask, for once I know the proper question, I could solve the problem in less than five minutes.” Einstein The rush to solutions One of the most …
Trying To Resolve Conflict? Are You Asking The Right Question? Read More »
In the late eighties I taught in Germany on a two-year Business English programme. One of the course handbooks focused solely on writing business letters in English. The students were schooled in great detail on the etiquette and nuances of letters and memos in a variety of business contexts. These ranged from sales to commissioning …
Emails…Are You Trigger Happy? Read This Before You Press ‘Send’ Read More »
You know that feeling…. You’ve been tolerating and putting up with someone’s behaviour or poor performance at work for a long time. You have to talk to them about it but have been putting it off, hoping that they’d somehow pull their socks up. The list is long… not getting reports, monthly plans etc. in …
Dreading A ‘Difficult Conversation’? Begin With The End In Mind Read More »
