Listening to a podcast recently, I was struck by social scientist Brene Brown’s response when asked about the culture of her organisation: “The culture of our organization is, there’s no meeting after the meeting” To what extent could you say that in the case of the team you lead there are no meetings after (or …
Does Your Team Have Meetings After (or Before!) the Meeting? Read More »
Facilitating people to come up with their own solutions rather than telling them what to do is probably the number one challenge most participants in Mediation training courses identify. The skill or rather combination of micro-skills encompassed in an ‘Ask and Listen’ rather than ‘Tell and Sell’ approach to problem-solving are also essential competencies in …
Problem-Solving Conversations – Drop the Advice and Help People Think for Themselves Read More »
You’ve asked them once, you’ve asked them a second time and yet the behaviour still keeps happening. How to address behaviour that persists despite your feedback about it… Transcript Hi Mary Rafferty here Today I want to talk to you about a question that came up yesterday in a seminar I was delivering to a …
What If Someone Persists In A Behaviour Despite Your Feedback? Read More »
“I know you think you understand what you thought I said but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant” (Alan Greenspan, American Economist) It’s so easy to mishear and misunderstand what others are saying to us and vice verse, particularly when tensions are starting to rise. Here’s a simple …
Don’t Play Chinese Whispers In Difficult Conversations! Read More »
Ever feel you’ve hit a brick wall (or an iceberg!) when trying to get your point across to someone? No matter what you say they just won’t listen. Here’s another way to think about how to handle this situation… Video Transcript Mary Rafferty here, in today’s video I want to share an analogy that can …
Trying To Get Your Point Across But They Won’t Listen? Read More »
A common question in ‘Difficult Conversations for Managers’ workshops is what to do when it feels like you are in one of those fruitless dialogues, a circular argument, repeating the same thing without achieving anything.The other person isn’t listening or taking on board what you need them to hear or understand. A recent example was …
Going Around In Circles In A Conversation? Circular Arguing And How To Break That Cycle Read More »
Frustrated trying to deal with difficult behaviour? Imagine you had a magic weather wand. A simple wave and you would have glorious sunshine, a gentle breeze with a cloudless blue sky above. With your magic wand you would lighten people’s moods, you’d lift people’s energy and motivation. In one swoosh, you could banish the grey …
Frustrated Trying To Deal With Difficult Behaviour? Try These 3 Simple Shifts Read More »
Does the thought of difficult conversations make your stomach churn? Here’s the most important ingredient to make a success. On a recent holiday in Italy I went on a ‘Try a Dive’ lesson. The dive centre was at a sandy beach next to a clear blue lagoon. The water looked so inviting and delicious. But …
The Secret Ingredient For Success In Difficult Conversations Read More »
“But what if you needed to give her a telling off…” This was the comment of a participant in a recent ‘Difficult Conversations’ training session with a group of managers. The discussion was around the room layout and whether the manager should sit behind a desk or not, when giving negative feedback to an employee. …
Are You In ‘Parent’, ‘Child’ Or ‘Adult’ Mode (Or All 3!) At Work? Read More »
Many years ago I worked quite closely with another colleague. Overall, we had a pretty good working relationship, but some disagreements also as to how things should be done and what the best course of action was to take. I remember clearly at times finding those disagreements quite difficult: my colleague didn’t really like to …
